Silencing Your Inner Critic: The Power of Non-Judgment
4 Ways to Enhancing Your Practice and Inner Peace
Have you ever wondered why it’s often easier to let go of your judgment of others than to break the habit of being overly self-critical? Perhaps you’ve successfully extended grace to others but found it challenging to develop it yourself.
Interestingly, most are familiar with the adage “judge lest ye be judged.” However, putting it into practice is often easier said than done.
Contrary to popular belief, mindfulness is accessible to all who seek it. This post will explore four ways the mindful practice of non-judgment can ease the stress of being overly self-critical.
The Self Judgement Paradox
With guided mindfulness and meditation often comes the instruction to persistently release judgment. However, it’s often viewed as something we place on others and less of something we impart to ourselves. The content of our experiences shapes our beliefs, which form our beliefs. In other words, our upbringing, family, relationships, education, work history, interactions, and experiences all form and shape the foundation of our beliefs. The content of our collective experience forms the internal compass by which we gauge our judgment of what is good, bad, or indifferent.
Using our personal experience as a guide makes it relatively easy to judge anything that misaligns (aka goes against) our beliefs. Many pet owners have a deep, indescribable love for their pets. In doing so, many affectionately express their affection by kissing their pets on the mouth. This is commonplace for many, but it may not necessarily align with your beliefs. It may very well adamantly go against the very core of your beliefs. One may judge it as outlandish, unsanitary, or any other manner of adjectives that negatively suggest it as unacceptable. At the same time, others may see it as an absolute necessity.
When it comes to judgment, it’s much easier to distinguish when you are critical of another than when you overly self-critique your thoughts and actions. At the same time, judgment and self-critique are a little more nuanced, unlike many other words, which tend to have positive and negative connotations. Judgment is one of the terms which tends to carry a negative connotation predominantly. This raises a few fundamental questions. What does it mean to be overly critical of oneself? How does one know when you are being excessively judgemental?
In our day-to-day actions and interactions, we can think of thoughts that may misalign with what we consider right or wrong. As a result, we incessantly judge the nature and cadence of our thoughts as suboptimal. Doing so causes our central nervous systems to react in a way that can affect our health. Any number of reactions and symptoms can arise as a result. Be it an increased heart rate, tension, rising anxiety, fear, or any other systemic reactions that, if left unaddressed, can harm our health.
Self-judgment is not just a one-off. It’s one of those things that embeds itself within our subconscious. Invariably, we habitually repeat the same actions over time, which creates patterns that become engrained until they become automatic. Habitually engaging in actions creates patterns that eliminate the need for conscious thought. When thought is no longer needed, it enslaves you to your habits, making it much more challenging to release habits and practice non-judgment.
The practice of non-judgment is reminiscent of an earlier time when I sought to push beyond the difficulties I had with releasing the habit of being overly rigid on myself. When I was relatively new to the practice, I initially had a degree of difficulty when it came to letting go of judgment. For months, I would listen to guided meditations only to get caught up in what it meant to release judgment. When it seemed I was following along with the prompts; I would find myself immobilized at the mere invitation to release judgment persistently. One minute, I was all in, whereas the next, I was at a complete loss as I had no idea what it meant not to judge myself. After all, how could I stop doing something I didn’t believe I was doing?
The Liberating Practice of Non-Judgement
Whether you are a novice or a seasoned practitioner, we all fall victim to the pitfalls of self-judgment at some point or another. As one prepares for meditation, thoughts instinctually rise to the surface, calling you to question your every thought, action, or lack thereof. Interestingly, where your attention goes, your energy flows. Therefore, we each have volition over where we elect to direct our attention at any given time.
Anytime our attention sways away from our intended focus (aka the practice), we can redirect it as often as needed. Whether focusing on a select focal point or closing our eyes and observing our breath's natural rhythm, flow, and cadence, we can use the power of attention to release any judgment and redirect our attention.
4 Ways to Enhancing Your Practice and Inner Peace
1. Pause and Breathe
Anytime you find yourself placing judgment on any thought, feeling, or emotion, take a pause and breathe.
The act of taking a conscious breath refocuses your attention. Therefore, shifting your awareness onto the natural rhythm, cadence, and flow of your breath disrupts the thought and pattern of judgment.
2. Letting Go
Within mindfulness and meditation, there’s this universal concept of letting go. When we encounter actions, behaviors, and habits that no longer serve, the necessary action is to let go and stop the action.
Please feel free to let it go whenever you find yourself in the habit of placing judgment. Letting go stops it by disrupting the action before it goes any longer.
3. Refocus Your Awareness
The center point of our awareness lies at the intersection of where we are directing our attention at any given time. If you find yourself in a cycle of the judgment of self or others and elect to realign your awareness with your intention, redirect your attention by pausing, followed by a natural breath.
4. Persistence
If, at first, you don’t succeed, try, try again. Habitual patterns are hardwired within our subconscious, meaning they become so ingrained that it becomes increasingly more difficult to disrupt and rewire.
Disrupting old patterns doesn’t happen overnight. Only through constant persistence can you disrupt and re-establish new habits. In this day and age, we expect instantaneous results. However, much like most things, one must remain faithful and aligned with one's intention, no matter how long it takes.
The more consistent and persistent you engage in practice, the quicker you rewrite new habit patterns, which results in sustainable change. Remember, you are a divine light being who can change anything that displeases you at will.
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