Positive Vibes Only? The Downside of Denying Our Authentic Emotions
Some experiences can make you feel an extensive range of feelings and emotions, ranging from happiness, sadness, fear, disappointment, and joy. Just because you set an intention to focus solely on the good doesn’t mean that undesirable feelings and emotions won’t occur. This is often where the challenge comes in.
Electing to focus on the good strictly does not erase any unintentional emotional discomfort that will likely arise. Theoretically, you can profess and affirm anything you’d like. However, you can not manifest something unless you believe and expect it.
One can recite, affirm, and repeat the “positive vibes only” mantra until the cows come, but it can not and will not come to fruition until you genuinely embody it. We experience life with our whole selves, meaning we use our five senses and intuitive guidance to experience it with our mind, body, and spirit. Anytime you resist feeling the full spectrum of emotions when they arise, internalize and retain the discomfort. As a result, these stored energies have the potential to be triggered anytime you encounter a similar experience.
Any effort to solely focus on the positive, denying the presence of any sub-optimal feelings that may affirm otherwise, creates resistance, which compounds, making it much harder to open yourself for it to flow freely. What you resist is still happening. In other words, the more you block feelings from flowing through out of fear of the pain it will cause, the more you suffer. Hence, it is impossible to remain positive at all costs. Life is filled with diverse experiences that help us to define our likes and dislikes. Therefore, any effort to sift through your experience to selectively have only positive vibes is in vain.
The Downside of “Positive Vibes Only
When I think of “positive vibes only,” I think of rainbows, butterflies, and all the beautiful possibilities that come with everything nice. However, professing that you will only experience positive vibes amid the varied spectrum of emotion is near impossible. I recall an instance in which I was progressing through the job interviewing process for a position I wanted more than anything. In my mind’s eye, this position was exactly what I needed. In this instance, I had to journey through a 6-hour day in which I was scheduled to meet with several teams. This day was so long and drawn out that it had designated times for breaks as well as a brief lunch.
Regardless of the long, drawn-out day, I was enthusiastic and optimistic about the opportunity. Therefore, I was committed to maintaining a positive outlook. Long story short, the interview marathon couldn’t have gone any better. In just a matter of time, I was sure I would receive communication informing me of the next steps. In the days to weeks that followed, I fought to maintain a positive outlook. Whenever I was met with doubt, worry, or disappointment, I recited a series of affirmations to keep myself rooted in positive expectancy. As time progressed, my awareness gradually began to shift to sheer doubt. Just like that, it became harder and harder to maintain a positive perspective.
Intuitively, I knew this would not work out in my favor. All attempts to disavow my inner knowing to focus solely on positivity were met with extreme resistance. No matter how often I professed my intention, I came to believe it less and less. The next thing I knew, I was engulfed in an inner conflict. Here I was, fighting with everything to remain faithful to a pipe dream I was quickly beginning to lose faith in. Determined to end this inner conflict and liberate myself from this self-inflicted torment, I finally decided to follow up.
Before I even drafted the email, I already knew the response. From the moment I hit send, it was just a matter of time before I could finally put my mind at rest. In short order, I received a response. As I intuitively knew within my heart, I did not advance to the next phase. In the hours and days that followed, I proceeded to send myself into a downward spiral of guilt, blame, and a series of what-ifs.
In essence, I proceeded to subject myself to a series of self-critiques, mostly blaming myself for over-committing to positive vibes only. All and all, I felt pretty shitty. In that instance, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that this mantra wasn’t worth its weight in gold. Trust and believe I was not going to put myself through this again.
The Power of Mindfulness
In life, we encounter many experiences, of which many are more than sub-optimal. However, the good news is that everything that flows through our awareness is impermanent, which means it’s only temporary. Mindfulness allows us to accept things as they present themselves without force or coercion.
Acceptance doesn’t imply that we have to like everything that causes discomfort. It simply means we must observe and allow things to flow through with an open expectancy without internalizing it. This frees us from embedding it within our minds and bodies as tension, stress, and trauma.
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