Have you ever wondered what it means to practice letting go? Better yet, what is the significance of doing it in every guided meditation?
Perhaps you find yourself getting caught up in the mere invitation to let go. Just maybe, it sparks a myriad of thoughts around what you are supposed to do.
Or perhaps, you cannot quite wrap your mind around how we tend to carry past emotional pain and disappointment into each preceding moment. Whatever the case may be, letting go is a practice that you would like to get a better insight into.
Sound familiar?
I would like to invite you to journey with me through this post, as we take a deep dive into the practice, and explore four ways in which we can use mindfulness to practice the art of letting go.
Perception is Not Reality
I can remember getting caught up in all of the hype around meditation. From the outside looking in, it seemed as if everyone was not only doing it but benefiting from it on multiple levels. Even the most candid images, seemed to emit a calm, inner peace. I for one, couldn’t wait to immerse myself so that I too could reap its many benefits. So not wanting to miss the wave, I willfully jumped on the bandwagon. If this practice was as good as they said it was, there was no way in hell that I was going to continue to consciously allow myself to miss out. After all, it could very well be the very thing that I didn’t know I needed.
So without further ado, I willfully, and enthusiastically dove into the deep end. However, I failed to take into account that before I even attempted to give it a try, I had already concocted a series of unrealistic expectations around how quickly it would work out. Consequently, expectations formed without intention often lead to disappointment.
Needless to say, perception is not even remotely close to resembling what actually began to unfold. In fact, there was such a gap between where I actually was and where I desired to be, that I felt defeated. Immediately my awareness shifted within, as feelings of judgment, shame, and self-critique began to arise. Next thing you know there I was feeling in way over my head, with no relief in sight.
Aside from googling searches, books, and contemplation, my only other recourse was to invest a significant amount of time, energy, and money, into getting individualized support. Like most, I was not here for any long-drawn-out process. Beyond my narrow perspective, I knew that there had to be a better way to truly get it. After all, now that I had gotten a slight glimpse into the immeasurable good that awaited me on the other side, there was no way in hell that I was not going to take full advantage to figure it out as best I could.
As I reflect, it takes me back to the wise words of Mike Tyson, this whole notion of evolving from novice to a master practitioner in a matter of weeks is ludicrous, as there are no shortcuts to expanding your consciousness. We must simply seize the resources, tools, and opportunities, that are available to support us to arrive at the other side.
Despite the many guided meditations I sat through, I still could not quite relate to all that I was being asked to do. I was relatively comfortable when it came to centering my awareness onto following the rise and fall of my chest, as I observed the breath. Although it took a bit of patience and grace, I was also fairly at ease with following the prompts to perform a body scan. However, I often struggled to grasp the concepts that went beyond the basics. More specifically, I was often at a loss when I was called to let go of what no longer served me. Theoretically, I understood that this was time to let go of what was no longer working for me. But I couldn’t quite grasp how I was going to drudge up the things that were layered beneath the surface of my awareness. For the life of me,
I could not see how I could possibly comply with this request in such little time. Alas herein lies the problem. Overall, I needed to better familiarize myself with not only what it meant, but how to move through any discomfort that arose, all the while moving through the practice within such a short amount of time. In all honesty, for a while, I truly just maneuvered through the motions, until one day with the help of reading, contemplation, and community practice, it finally clicked.
The Art of Letting Go
The very concept of letting go brings me to a few very important questions:
What the hell is letting go, and why is it so prevalent in guided meditations? I’m so glad you ask, the next few sections will outline the how what, and why of letting go.
What Is Resistance?
As a collective, we tend to resist and internalize the things that cause us emotional hurt, pain, and discomfort. Resistance can take the shape of any number of things, silencing your voice to ease the discomfort of others, prioritizing others’ needs ahead of your own to avoid upsetting others or contorting yourself to remain in spaces that you may have outgrown. The truth is life is unpredictable. Meaning nothing stays the same. We all change and evolve with each passing day, as it is a prevailing constant.
This, in turn, places us in victim mode, as these energetically-charged feelings tend to accumulate and lodge within our bodies disrupting our health and wellbeing. Subsequently, if internalized, it can cause disharmony and dis-ease. Letting go is the practice of releasing any resistance to what is. By definition, resistance blocks the natural flow of life.
Being that life is ever-changing, and evolving, any efforts that block its natural flow will encounter disharmony. Meaning, the more you choose to resist, and not accept what is, the more discomfort and struggle you will meet at every turn. Regardless of whether you choose to kick, scream, fight, or rage, against the tides of change, nothing can stop it. In other words, there is no amount of effort, or energy, that you can exert that will counteract the natural flow of life. Therefore, the only path of least resistance is letting go, as often as need be.
The Practice of Letting Go
Increase your awareness around a particular feeling, allow it to come up, notice how it feels within your body, accept it as is regardless of how it makes you feel, releasing any judgment, as well as any urge to change it to fit into your ideal of the way you believe it should be. In the instances where it’s less apparent when resistance is present, increase your awareness around the emotions that arise, anytime you feel disempowered (i.e., feeling unseen, unheard, undervalued, silenced, unsupported, and overall unloved).
You are a divine light being, observing the feelings that pass through your awareness, accepting it as is, and releasing the uncomfortable energy behind. This liberating practice frees you from the need to be anyone or anything else other than your true self. Releasing the very things that no longer bring joy, or ease opens you to accept what is. Acceptance is not contingent upon your likes or dislikes. It simply acknowledges what is, without forcing things to remain the same. Therefore, letting go frees you to allow the universe to unfold as it should.
4 Ways to use Mindfulness to Release What No Longer Serves
1. Increase Awareness
Increase your awareness of the feelings that arise within your body. Feel into your body, and notice if any energetically charged feelings of discomfort or dis-ease arise. Note any patterns that elicit disharmony. Allow yourself to truly feel, what you are experiencing, without retracting or suppressing what you feel. Much like the passing clouds that float across the sky, assuming the role of the observer empowers you to simply watch without internalizing the emotion.
2. Observe
Observe, and notice, how it makes you feel. Regardless of whether it brings you pleasure or pain, simply observe the energy behind the experience as it unfolds. Observation and increased awareness give you the power of choice to selectively choose your response. In the case, of letting go, it empowers you to release the energetic urge to change whatever doesn’t fit your ideal of the way things should be.
3. Release Judgement
Allow yourself to feel whatever arises without judgment. Releasing judgment frees you from experiencing the emotional pains that span the spectrum (i.e., fear, guilt, blame, shame, anxiety, etc.). In doing so, assuming the role of the observer also empowers you to step out of victimhood, and into your power.
4. Accept What Is
Acceptance doesn’t require that you have to be pleased with everything that passes through your awareness. It’s simply observing it and accepting it for what it is, without applying any effort to change what unfolds on a moment-by-moment basis.