Mindfulness Demystified: The Art of Releasing Attachments
6 Ways to Practice Letting Go When You Have Absolutely No Idea Where to Begin
Over the years mindfulness has become synonymous with the practice of letting go of attachments, which is so commonly referred to as releasing what no longer serves, or my personal favorite letting that sh** go.
From social media, movies, TV, and everything else in between, the practice of letting go has been touted as one of the best ways to free yourself from the burdensome stresses that bogs us down. Only very little focus is placed on how you are supposed to actually do it. Whether you’re scrolling through social media posts or savoring the latest inspirational post, you’re sure to come across the mention of releasing what no longer serves.
Interestingly the widespread use of the term spans the spectrum, from friends, family, romantic relationships, jobs, social media, responsibilities, and obligations. The list essentially goes on and on. Making it that much harder to decern how what it means, or exactly how one is supposed to go about getting it done.
If you ever found yourself wondering WTF it means to mindfully practice letting go, you can rest assured that you are not alone. This post will delve into what letting go is, and 6 ways in which you can practice letting go when you have absolutely no idea where to start. integrate it into daily practice.
The Nature of Attachments
When it comes to attachments, we generally don’t consider ourselves as being figuratively attached to anyone or anything outside of ourselves. However, When we delve a little deeper into our relationships, connections, and habits, we can observe the spaces where we have become so identified that we lose sight of our innate power.
In other words, the more we identify ourselves with our origins, what we do, who we’ve been, as well as practically every other element we eventually come to believe that that’s who we are. This is reminiscent of a typical individual’s career trajectory.
On average when young person enters High School, they are guided to research and choose a career path in which they can hone and target their studies they can be well on their way to entering into their select field. Fast forward ten-plus years later, and this individual has since gotten the lay of the land, refined their craft, positioning themselves as an expert in their field.
As time passes by, they have become less and less satiated by the very career that once brought them so much joy. Now the very occupation that brought such a sense of purpose and fulfillment now feels more like a prison sentence that they're left to endure until retirement.
The very thought of having to perpetually endure such growing displeasure day end and day out for the next twenty-plus years is disheartening, to say the least. So you then do the next reasonable thing, change your job/position. After making the shift, it initially feels as if things are back on track. After the newness wears off you are right back to where you started.
So you do the next best thing, shifting again and again until you come to the realization that perhaps it’s you. Only everything about your resume points you right back to the very field you’re attempting to escape.
Likewise, this very scenario is often the very catalyst that many find as the match that sparks them onto an entrepreneurial journey as they move release what no longer brings them joy, and embrace to the very possibilities that lie within doing the very things that spark a new joy and creativity. Is the path that lies within the space of unknown easy, absolutely not, will it invariably scare the living sh** out you, absolutely. But will releasing identification with the very things that once brought you so much joy, that now brings you so much pain-free you to open yourself to the many possibilities that lie outside of our comfort zone, definitely?
Ever notice how in social gatherings where you have a group of individuals meeting and networking for the very first time, one of the most common ice breakers that are used to spark a conversation is “what do you do for a living followed by your role (i.e., mother, father, son, daughter, etc). How many times have you either been asked or led with the invitation to learn what someone actually does for a living? In all honesty, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with asking the question, however, when peering a little deeper it becomes more apparent how much we largely identify with what we do.
In essence, the more we identify things outside of ourselves the more we increasingly begin to believe that we are who we are because of our attachments, and not in spite of them. In essence, this is why it makes it that much more difficult to break up and release friendships, acquaintances, and everything else that we believe is weighing us down. Notably being attached to the very things that drain, shift, and cipher our energy is counterintuitive. Knowing that you should release something and actually doing it are two very different things. Understandably, one should release the very things that drag you down. However, doing it is easier said than done.
Much like releasing jobs, and situations, that no longer serve, the same goes for people, places, and essentially every other attachment that no longer sparks joy. Contrary to popular belief, we are persistently growing, evolving, and unfolding every minute of the day. Likewise, we are not the same person we were last year, month, or even the day before. Therefore, the very people with whom we used to have countless energy, and endless conversations, as well as every other high vibrational energetic connection, can just as easily shift, extinguishing our connection, making it that much more difficult to find any commonalities. In essence, the same goes for every other external connection (i.e. attachment), that once meant the world to us, but now we could easily do without.
As straightforward as this may seem, knowing something no longer serves, and severing attachments are much easier said than done. Over time, with every external attachment, we form habitual patterns which become engrained within us, making releasing that much more difficult. Much in the same way we form habits, and patterns, the same goes for the reverse. Therefore, when we attempt to release we encounter discomfort and resistance from the very things that have become so deeply entrenched within us.
The Art of Releasing
The practice of letting go is rooted in releasing any and all resistance to what is, and not the sum of whether we have exhausted all other options. Letting go is not the last resort, it is a practice of observing the spaces where we encounter resistance in our lives. So this raises a very important question, how do you know when and if you encounter resistance? So glad you asked.
We’ve all encountered instances where we’ve met people for the very first time and felt a sense of ease, flow, and comfort. On a deeper level, they were able to make an indelible impression in such a relatively short period of time that it likely felt as if you’ve known them all your life. Whereas, resistance causes every other energetically charged emotion to arise with a felt sense of intense struggle.
Nothing outside of us is going to be the source of our safety, security, happiness, or worthiness. It has to be something that is restored within ourselves.
-Gabby Bernstein
You are a divine light being, with the ability to think, and function independent of circumstances. Remember you are far greater than any unfavorable circumstances or limitations that you may experience. As spiritual beings having a human incarnation, we each are empowered with the foresight to see beyond our current circumstances. You are not your position, job, career, old relationships, acquaintances, habits, perceived problems, struggles, or any other low vibrational frequency that subjects you to relinquish your power. Having difficulty practicing releasing attachments doesn’t mean you shouldn’t practice, it just calls you to persistently allow yourself to sit in the feelings of letting go. Bottom line it is not easy as practically everything within you will want you resist and repell it with the hopes of returning things back to how it once was. It will likely be painful, and discomforting. Leave space that allows you to sit with the discomfort and rest in the discomfort allowing it to pass through your experience without resistance.
The Practice of Releasing Attachments in 6 Simple Steps
1. Increase Awareness
Increase your awareness of the feelings that arise within your body. Feel into your body, and notice if any energetically charged feelings of discomfort or dis-ease arise. Note any patterns that elicit disharmony. Allow yourself to truly feel, what you are experiencing, without retracting or suppressing what you feel. Much like the passing clouds that float across the sky, assuming the role of the observer empowers you to simply watch without internalizing the emotion.
2. Observe
Observe, and notice, how it makes you feel. Regardless of whether it brings you pleasure or pain, simply observe the energy behind the experience as it unfolds. Observation and increased awareness give you the power of choice to selectively choose your response. In the case, of letting go, it empowers you to release the energetic urge to change whatever doesn’t fit your ideal of the way things should be.
3. Start Small
As with any new practice, start small. Increase your awareness of any resistance that arises in any area of your life. Don’t deprive yourself by trying to tackle old habits all at once. Observe resistance as it occurs, acknowledge it, and practice releasing all effort to resist what is. Celebrate the small wins that come from practicing letting go with a degree of consistency, one win at a time.
Start small, journaling at least one thing that you recognized resistance to, and consciously let go each day. Remember that small consistent efforts result in sustainable habits. In time you will likely find that it is nearly impossible to just list one thing. As you put pen to paper or fingers on the keypad, you more than likely will find yourself rattling off far more than a few things.
4. Release Expectations
Literally and figuratively seeing is believing. Naturally, we have a tendency to reference all that we have directly or indirectly observed or experienced and attached expectations to our imagined outcome. However, the mindfulness practice of letting go is an individualized journey, and what works for some is not guaranteed to work for all. So as you increase your awareness of the places in your life where you may be resisting what is, release expectations around what it should look like. Simply evolve your practice to meet you exactly where you are in your mindfulness journey.
5. Release Any Guilt
Naturally, there are countless things that you can release. However, whenever you experience difficulty there will likely be times when the totality of your experience feels too overwhelming to find an ounce of mental fortitude to engage in the practice. As with most things that misalign with what we believe we should feel, guilt is likely sure to follow. Anytime you feel guilt arising, allow grace, and release any feelings of guilt. As with the clouds that float across the sky, any number of things will cross through your awareness that can make you feel guilty.
There will be seasons where life is not all rainbows and butterflies as we experience the ebbs and flows of life. Know that is ok to miss the mark and experience feelings that may not feel comfortable. Grant yourself permission to release any guilt, as many times as need be, and know that this is exactly why it’s a practice.
6. Forgive Yourself
Forgiveness is a practice that is largely reserved and emphasized as something that we should do for others. However, forgiveness first begins with the self. There are going to be times when your vantage point is so clouded by the density of life that it may become challenging to not center blame and guilt on oneself. Know that beyond every experience, lies a lesson. As we grow and evolve we are going to make mistakes along the way. Release any feelings of guilt, blame, or shame, grant yourself permission to forgive yourself, and allow yourself to begin again.
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