Mindfulness Demystified: How to Get Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable?
How to Mindfully Sit with Discomfort
Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable is one of the most prominent mindfulness practices. However, most places you look only height the need for the practice and not exactly how to do it.
Ever found yourself wondering what it means, let alone how one goes about doing it? More importantly, why would one even entertain the notion of sitting in discomfort?
So glad you asked; this post will explore the how what, and why behind the practice.
Why Sit in Discomfort?
Life is forever evolving and changing in ways that make us feel a wave of varying emotions. One moment, feelings and sensations of joy can arise, making us feel loved and supported. The next, it can quickly shift into feelings of anxiousness, overwhelm, and loneliness, leaving you feeling immense discomfort.
Much like physical pain, discomfort can feel debilitating to the point where it can seem as if there is no way out. Thankfully, nothing is constant, and as the old saying goes this too shall pass.
As a collective, we tend to do everything we can to avoid discomfort. From avoidance and transference to deflection and everything else in between, we often do everything in our power to make any sense of discomfort go away as soon as possible, wishing and hoping for someone to provide insightful solutions.
Contrary to popular belief, expending our time, energy, and efforts to repeatedly profess our discontent to forcibly change people, situations, and circumstances to work in our favor, only results in more of the same, as the very things we resist, the more it persists. The resolution to our discomfort doesn’t reside in anyone or anything outside of ourselves, it is sourced from within.
The Practice of Being In the Present Moment
Mindfulness is the practice of being in the present moment and accepting things just as they are, without judgment, or forcibly using the power of will to coerce things to work in your favor. Overall we tend to resist the things that illicit fear, pain, and emotional discomfort, by subconsciously relinquishing our power to the waywardness of our reactivity to situations and circumstances.
The very times we feel discomfort, we unconsciously react in any number of ways to make it resolve as quickly as possible. Anytime we innately feel unsafe (i.e., an inner sense of danger), our central nervous systems instantaneously fire a reactive response in an attempt to regain some sense of comfort and safety. Consequently, this often leads us to source external means to help us regain a sense of calm.
Discomfort in itself is a sign of being outside of the familiar, or an indication that we need to release all that no longer serves. On any given day, we repeatedly engage in a specific set of activities that shape our routine, and with routine comes predictability, and expectancy, which sets the stage for comfortability. Hence the more we operate within the same predictable routine comfort zone, the less likely we will experience discomfort. In fact, it reaffirms the exact opposite comfort. Likewise anything new outside our proverbial comfort zone will cause discomfort.
Discomfort is not simply an indication that one should head for the hills. It is, however, a sign that we should be attentive to the feelings and sensations that arise, increase our awareness around the source of our discomfort, and allow it to inform us. In other words, when feelings arise, we should be willing to be attentive to their source and allow them to inform us. In typical human fashion, our first inclination is to overly critique ourselves for feeling any and everything other than rainbows and butterflies.
Much like the waves in the ocean that ebb and flows with the sun changing tide, so does the flow of life. Thankfully, mindfulness supplies us with practices that support us in doing just that.
How to Mindfully Practice Getting Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable?
The mindful practice of increased awareness opens us to intentionally pause and observe all that is taking place within our experience.
The practice of non-judgment supports us in freeing ourselves from the constraints of self-critique by releasing judgment and embracing acceptance of all that is, without resistance. Notably, acceptance is not agreement, it’s an open acknowledgment of things just as they are. In other words, we don’t have to like or enjoy an experience to lean into acceptance, as it leaves space for us to sit in discomfort and know that everything is temporary. The more we practice non-judgment by accepting our experience and leaning into the discomfort, the more space it leaves for us to learn from it.
Be gracious with yourself.
Feel into what is flowing through your awareness, and allow yourself to lean into acceptance and be present to all that is without trying to forcibly change anything.
Pause, breathe, and get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Redirect your awareness away from all that feels awry and disjointed, and root yourself within your body, completely feeling into your physical senses and allow it to inform you.
Use your physical sensations as a guide, and breathe naturally through your nose.
Inhale through your nose and feel into your chest as it rises to receive the air and falls on the exhalation.
Beyond the discomfort, feel the desire that revitalizes and brings you comfort.
Hold the desire in your awareness and infuse the feeling with the thought that it is already done. Revisit the image as often as possible.
As with any new practice, unlearning, and shifting old practices into new habits will not happen overnight.
Be gracious with yourself, as it takes time and consistent effort to form new habits and routines. Therefore, anytime you revert to old practices that no longer serve, grant yourself grace and begin again as many times as needed.
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