Within the past week, there’s been a lot of talk about triggers. In some way or another, we are all liable to react in ways that can hurt both ourselves and others. This post will explore 4 ways we can use mindfulness to shift our response to triggers.
What Are Triggers?
At some point or another, we all encounter experiences that stir up a mix of emotions that cause us emotional pain and discomfort. As a collective we all recoil at discomfort, the more disturbing and traumatic the trigger, the more likely we are to hold onto and store that emotionally charged response within our bodies. Regardless of how much we’d rather forget that it even happened, we tend to store it within our bodies and minds. Not only do we hold it close at hand, but we also tend to repeatedly replay it within our minds, forcing ourselves to continuously relive traumatic experiences over and over again.
Interestingly the mind and the body connection are so intertwined that when we repeatedly relive memories of emotionally charged events, it is simultaneously felt within our bodies. Over time the thought, memory, and emotion, all merge as one, embedding them within our subconscious. Essentially, encountering an experience that has even the slightest semblance of the initial encounter triggers a reaction that rivals the original event. Unbeknownst to us, the very things that trigger us can lie dormant beneath the surface until some event, conversation, situation, or circumstance, sparks us to react out of character. Basically, anything that we encounter with our senses is liable to elicit a reaction that may be misaligned with how we view ourselves.
A Moment of Reflection
Take a moment to think back to a time when you received disturbing news that caused you to instantly feel severe emotional pain from the very depths of your heart. Suddenly it felt hard to catch your breath, let alone process all that was happening in the moments that followed. Filled with shock, awe, and disbelief, a sense of helplessness began to arise. Suddenly you have a heightened sense of awareness of the breath and the very beating of your heart.
Despite being conscious of everything as it unfolds, all seemingly feels amiss and disjointed as there appears to be no immediate path forward. As time progresses, you regain your breath and life goes on. Regardless of the sleepless nights, tear-stained pillows, and disappointment, in time it gets easier. Fast forward, many years have gone by, and although time has progressed as things continue to come up as you are reminded of that painful experience. In all aspects, you are viewed as a level-headed individual who maintains a calm, cool and collected composure at all times.
The Dangers of Reaction
Unbeknownst to you, everything appears as if you have everything under control at all times. This is until one day the slightest event triggers something within you that essentially causes you to lose it. On this one particular day, you are in a very public setting surrounded by close friends and a host of others. Suddenly the space becomes so quiet that you could literally hear a pin drop. It was almost as if the world stopped to watch in awe as you proceed to have a meltdown for all to see. Both friends and strangers are awestruck by the intensity and brevity of your reaction.
Essentially every individual within eyesight had a look of utter disbelief, at least that’s what you were told. Next thing you know, friends are comforting you with words of encouragement and support. However, their faces and body posture screamed something completely different. Being that perception is reality, from your mind’s eye, their whole beings were filled with significantly more judgment, than compassion. From the outside looking in it’s easy to cast judgment on the manner in which a person should or shouldn’t have reacted. All the while, there’s a completely different process to understanding what unfolds beneath the surface.
In many ways, it was almost as if you had an out-of-body experience, as you essentially watched your reaction dramatically unfold in such a way that you no longer recognized yourself. The unlikely aftermath was chocked full of a plethora of emotions, mainly guilt, regret, and embarrassment. In many ways, it felt as if it was all a dream, as you longed for a clear path forward to erase all of the pain, and suffering, that now overwhelms you. And just like that, you start to question everything that you believed yourself to be. Shocked at the very notion that a mere trigger that you believed was behind you, could have such power over you. This brings about a very important question, how do you heal through something if you are unaware it exists.
Reaction vs Response
At first glance, the terms reaction and response appear interchangeable. However, reactions occur as a result of hardwired embedded programming that triggers us to subconsciously react. In other words, when we encounter a trigger it reverts us back to a past emotionally charged experience.
Being that we can only live in the present, these memorized emotional and physical responses cause us to relive its associated pain and discomfort. In essence, this is why even the most trivial event can trigger a response that rivals something that is so much greater than the mired event. By choosing to allow our memorized programming to take hold of our response we relinquish our power, falling victim to our past hurt.
On the other hand, responses require the conscious power of choice. In other words, we have to be in the present moment to have the power of choice to selectively chose our response. Unlike reactions which can unfold in a matter of milliseconds, increasing our awareness of what is unfolding within both our mind and body, provides us with the space to choose our response. Reactions are rooted within past experiences, whereas responses are centered within our conscious awareness of conscious choice.
4 Ways to Mindfully Respond to Triggers
Mindfulness tunes us into our minds and bodies, increasing our awareness of all that is unfolding within the present moment. Triggering reactions are spurred by subconscious habitual patterns that subject us to falling victim to engrained reactions.
Mindfulness gives us the space to revert our attention away from the past, and onto the present. Discomfort, emotional hurt, and pain, are impermanent. Meaning if we allow space for them to pass through our awareness, we can selectively choose a response that aligns with our intention.
1) Increase Awareness
We as conscious beings are constantly taking in and exchanging information with our environment. Increasing our awareness of what we are experiencing within the present moment disrupts any memorized emotional reactions. This gives us the power of choice so that we will not, fall victim to our embedded reactive programming.
2) Feel into the Discomfort
When you are in the midst of experiencing a trigger, discomfort and emotional pain are literally instantaneous. No one wants to feel or wallow in discomfort if they can possibly help it. Instead of forcibly combating it with anger, violence, or venom-filled commentary, take a moment to really feel what you’re experiencing in real-time. Know that the discomfort is passing through your awareness.
Essentially where your attention goes your energy flows. Meaning the more you give the disruptive trigger your attention, the more it will linger and increase in intensity. Allowing it to pass through your awareness equips you to reclaim your power.
3) Pause and Take a Deep Breath
Anytime you sense an emotional reaction brewing. Take a moment to pause and take a deep breath. Pausing helps to redirect your awareness away from the trigger and onto the breath. The breath can only occur in the present, not the past or the future. Taking a moment to pause and breathe, brings you back from past memorized reactions rooting you into the now moment. This practice brings your awareness back to your intended focus. There is no limit to the pause or the number of deep breaths. Take as many as you need to bring you back, as many times as needed.
4) The Power of Choice
Life happens. Meaning we are going to encounter sub optional instances and events that may trigger us to react in a manner that rivals the past. Regardless of what prevailing situations and circumstances maybe we all have the power of choice, to selectively choose the manner in which we are going to consciously respond to triggers. Increasing our awareness of what we experience within the moment, empowers us to truly look at the discomfort and the potential arising reaction.
Once faced with the truth of what’s unfolding in the moment, we have the power to choose our response. We can adamantly allow our subconsciously embed habits to take control, or we can consciously choose a response that aligns with our true selves. What do you choose? There are no right are wrong answers, just the practice to bring mindfulness into our daily lives
You described it so well. I have experienced this. This is very helpful.