Letting go supports us in making space for more good to come into our lives. Only the very thought of releasing the familiar scares the shit out of us, to the point where we hold on to relationships, friendships, and the like, for dear life, out of fear of the unknown.
It is often said that we should release what no longer serves. However, the specifics around how to do it are often left to the imagination. This piece will explore four ways to master releasing what no longer serves.
Letting Go
There’s this widely held notion that letting go is an all-or-nothing practice. In essence, one must do everything in their power to “fix” things on their own before even thinking about letting anything go. In many ways, it’s as if letting go is a cardinal sign of weakness. Most often, when it comes to doing anything that requires us to release any felt sense of control, we must first believe that we have done everything in our power to resolve what troubles us on our own, as it is most often done as a last ditch effort when all else has failed.
Whether conscious of it or not, people, experiences, and relationships come into our lives for a season or a lifetime. The more we hold on to people, relationships, and experiences, the more we take ourselves out of the present moment. Whether you have personally gone through an experience where you have outgrown a relationship or seen one of the many television episodes that chronicle a relationship way past its season, it’s far easier to see the big picture when you are on the outside looking in. Seeing past the pain and discomfort when you are in it is much more challenging, as finding some semblance of good is near impossible when you are in pain.
Contrary to popular belief, we have little to no control over anyone besides ourselves. In our day-to-day lives, we encounter any number of situations and circumstances that are beyond the realm of our control. More often then not, we respond to these incidences by holding on to them for dear life, constantly replaying them within a perpetual loop, unduly subjecting ourselves to reliving these experiences repeatedly. Being that what you resist persists can make you feel stressed beyond reproach, subjecting you to the chronic effects of persistent stress.
Going Beyond Any Fear
The practice of letting go is rooted in releasing any resistance to what is and not the sum of whether we have exhausted all other options. Letting go is not the last resort; it is a practice of observing the spaces where we encounter resistance. So this raises a fundamental question, how do you know when and if you encounter resistance? So glad you asked.
We’ve all encountered instances where we’ve met people for the very first time and felt a sense of ease, flow, or comfort. On a deeper level, they were able to make an indelible impression in such a relatively short period that it likely felt as if you’d known them all your life. At the same time, resistance causes every other energetically charged emotion to arise with a felt sense of discomfort.
Imagine falling in love with someone who sets your preverbal world on fire, and for literally months on end, you quickly fall head over heels in love, finding yourself figuratively floating on cloud nine with no end in sight. Until one day, you face the reality that practically everything you were led to believe was a lie. Determined to work things out and persevere, you fight to work things out, overlooking some of the most blatant red flags. Only to be brought face to face with infidelity and every other disheartening emotion you could experience.
With everything in you, you exhaust yourself beyond the heartache, pain, and suffering to maintain some contentment. Despite all that you encounter, you continue to fight any resistance tooth and nail until, out of sheer exhaustion, you relent, opening yourself to the practice of letting go for the very fact that you have absolutely nothing left to give.
A Gentle Reminder
You are a divine light able to think and function independently of circumstances. Remember, you are far greater than any unfavorable circumstances or limitations you may experience. As spiritual beings having a human incarnation, we are empowered with the foresight to see beyond our current events. You are not your perceived problems, struggles, or any other low vibrational frequency that subjects you to relinquish your power. Having difficulty practicing letting go doesn’t mean you shouldn’t practice; it just calls you to revisit your approach to make space for more good than you could possibly imagine.
4 Ways to Master the Releasing What No Longer Serves
1. Start Small
As with any new practice, start small. Increase your awareness of any resistance in any area of your life. Don’t deprive yourself by trying to tackle old habits all at once. Observe resistance as it occurs, acknowledge it, and practice releasing all effort to resist what is. Celebrate the small wins from practicing letting go with a degree of consistency, one victory at a time.
Start journaling at least one thing you recognized resistance to, and consciously let go each day. Remember that small, consistent efforts result in sustainable habits. In time you will likely find that it is nearly impossible to list one thing. You will probably be rattling off more than a few things as you put pen to paper or fingers on the keypad.
2. Release Expectations
Literally and figuratively, seeing is believing. Naturally, we reference all we have directly or indirectly observed or experienced and attached expectations to our imagined outcome. However, the mindfulness practice of letting go is an individualized journey, and what works for some is not guaranteed to work for all.
So as you increase your awareness of the places in your life where you may be resisting what is, release expectations around what it should look like. Evolve your practice to meet you exactly where you are in your mindfulness journey.
3. Release Any Guilt
Naturally, there are countless things that you can release. However, whenever you experience difficulty, there will likely be times when your experience feels too overwhelming to find an ounce of mental fortitude to engage in the practice. Guilt will likely follow, as with most things that misalign with what we believe we should feel.
Anytime you feel guilt arising, allow grace and release any feelings of guilt. As with the clouds that float across the sky, any number of things will cross through your awareness that can make you feel guilty. There will be seasons where life is not all rainbows and butterflies as we experience the ebbs and flows of life. Know that it is ok to miss the mark and experience feelings that may not feel comfortable. Permit yourself to release guilt as often as needed, and know that this is precisely why it’s a practice.
4. Forgive Yourself
Forgiveness is a practice primarily reserved and emphasized as something we should do for others. However, forgiveness first begins with the self. Sometimes, your vantage point is so clouded by the density of life that it may become challenging not to center blame and guilt on oneself.
Know that beyond every experience lies a lesson. As we grow and evolve, we will make mistakes along the way. Release any feelings of guilt, blame, or shame, permit yourself to forgive yourself, and allow yourself to begin again.
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