How to Use the Practice of Non-Judgement to Break the Habit of being Self Critical
4 Ways to Use the Practice of Non-Judgment to Deepen Your Practice
Have you ever wondered why it’s often easier to release your judgment of others than to break the habit of being overly critical of yourself? Perhaps you’ve successfully managed to extend grace to others but found it a little more difficult to extend it to yourself.
Interestingly, most are familiar with the old adage “judge lest ye be judged.” However, putting it into practice is often easier said than done. If this resonates, you’re likely discouraged by the fact that the practice of non-judgment feels like it’s this big secret that you’re not privy to.
Contrary to popular belief, mindfulness as well as every other supportive practice is accessible to all who seek it. This post will explore 4 ways the mindful practice of non-judgment can ease the stress of being overly self-critical.
The Conundrum of Self Judgement
With the practice of guided mindfulness and meditation, often comes the instruction to persistently release judgment. However, when one thinks of judgment it’s often viewed as something that we place on others and less of something we impart on ourselves.
Judgment in itself is shaped by the content of our experiences. In other words, our upbringing, family, relationships, education, work history, and all manner of our interactions and experiences all form and shape our beliefs. The content of our collective experience forms the internal compass by which we base our opinion on whether we translate it as good, bad, or indifferent.
Using our personal experience as a guide instinctually makes it relatively easy to judge anything or anyone outside of ourselves that misaligns with our beliefs. Take caring for pets as an example. Rightfully so, many pet owners have a deep indescribable love for their pets. In doing so, many affectionately express their affection by kissing their pets on the mouth. Whereas this is commonplace for many, it may not necessarily align with your beliefs. In fact it may very well adamantly go against the very core of your beliefs. One may judge it as outlandish, unsanitary, or any other manner of adjectives that negatively suggest that it is unacceptable. Whereas others may see it as an absolute necessity.
There is much to be said about judgment and the consequences that come along with it. Over time, critical judgment subconsciously reinforces the notion that we must literally and figuratively place everyone’s needs above our own at all times. In doing so, anything and everything that attempts to refute this notion, simply adds to the misconception that self-care is selfish. Of which, most of the emphasis is to simply not do it to others. Alternatively, there is little to no emphasis on the importance of not being overly critical of ourselves. In fact, the exact opposite often prevails, as individuals who assume the roles of authority figures, are often overtly expected to persistently prioritize others’ needs ahead of their own.
When it comes to judgment it’s much easier to distinguish when you are being critical of another. Whereas, judgment and self-critique are a little more nuanced. Unlike many other words which tend to have both positive and negative connotations. Judgment is one of the terms which tends to predominantly carry a negative connotation. This raises a few very important questions.
What does it mean to be overly critical of ourselves? How do you know when you are being overly judgemental?
In our day-to-day actions and interactions, we can think a series of thoughts that may potentially misalign with what we consider as right or wrong. As a result, we incessantly tend to judge the nature and cadence of our thoughts as suboptimal. In doing so, it resultantly causes our nervous systems to react in a way that can potentially affect our health. Any number of reactions and symptoms can arise as a result.
Be it an increased heart rate, tension, rising anxiety, fear, or any other number of systemic reactions which if left unaddressed can have detriments affects on our health.
The Art of Breaking the Habit of Self-Judgment
Self-judgment is not just a one-off. It’s one of those things that embeds itself within our subconscious. Invariably over time, we habitually repeat the same actions, which creates patterns that become engrained until it becomes automatic. In other words, when we habitually engage in actions it creates patterns that eliminate the presumptive need for conscious thought. When thought is no longer needed it essentially enslaves you to your habits, making it that much more difficult to practice harder to practice non-judgment.
The practice of non-judgment is reminiscent of an earlier time when I was seeking to push beyond the difficulties I was having with releasing the habit of being overly hard on myself. When I was relatively new to the practice, I initially had a degree of difficulty when it came to letting go of judgment. For months on end, I would listen to guided meditations only to get caught up in the notion of what it really meant to release judgment. Just when it seemed that I was following along with the prompts, I would find myself immobilized at the mere invitation to persistently release judgment. One minute I was all in, whereas the next I was at a complete loss as I had absolutely no idea what it actually meant to not judge myself. After all, how could I stop doing something that I didn’t believe I was doing it.
Judgment is an interesting activity as it can easily slip beneath our awareness. This raises a very important question, how can heighten my awareness of that which we are not consciously aware of. So glad you asked.
Whether you are a novice or a seasoned practitioner, we all at some point or another fall victim to the pitfalls of self-judgment. Typically as one prepares for meditation, by assuming a comfortable position and retreating into the silence, thoughts instinctually begin to rise to the surface. Interestingly where your attention goes your energy flows. Therefore, we each have volition over where we elect to direct our attention at any given point in time.
Anytime our attention sways away from our intended focus we have the ability to redirect it. Be it a select focal point, or observing the natural rhythm, flow, and cadence of our breath, we each have the ability to use the power of choice to redirect our attention.
In the same manner, anytime our awareness strays away from our intended focus, we have a tendency to overtly judge our ability and/or inability to maintain focus. In doing so, this can set off a cascade of downward spiraling thoughts of which a persistent cycle of judgment is likely to ensue.
4 Ways to Use the Practice of Non-Judgment to Deepen Your Practice
1. Pause and Breathe
Anytime you find yourself placing judgment on any thought, feeling or emotion take a pause and breathe.
The act of taking a conscious breath refocuses your attention. Therefore, shifting your awareness onto the natural rhythm, cadence, and flow of your breath, disrupts the thought and pattern of judgment.
2. Letting Go
Within the realm of mindfulness and mediation, there’s this universal concept of letting go. When we encounter actions, behaviors, and habits that no longer serve, the necessary action is to let go and/or stop the action.
Anytime you find yourself in the habit of placing judgement, simply let it go. Letting go essentially stops it in its tracks, by disrupting the action before goes any longer.
3. Refocus Your Awareness
The center point of our awareness lies at the intersection of where we are directing our attention at any given point in time. If you find yourself in a cycle of the judgment of self or others and elect to realign your awareness with your intention, simply redirect your attention, by taking a pause, followed by a natural breath.
4. Persistence
If at first, you don’t succeed, try, try, again. Habitual patterns are hardwired within our subconscious, meaning that it becomes so ingrained that it becomes increasingly more difficult to disrupt and rewire.
Disrupting old patterns doesn’t happen overnight. Only through constant persistence can you disrupt, and re-establish new habits. In this day age, we expect instantaneous results. However, much like most things one must remain faithful and aligned with their intention, no matter how long it takes.
The more consistent and persistent you engage in practice, the quicker rewrite new habit patterns which result in sustainable change. Remember you are a divine light being who has the power to change anything that displeases you at will.
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