Fear, Meet Mindfulness: Tools for Thriving Beyond Fear
There are innumerable sayings, of which getting out of your way is one that loosely implies its intent but leaves a lot to the imagination. Superficially, it makes sense, as many of us engage in counterintuitive habits to attain our goals, but if you dig a little deeper, you’ll find it’s a little more nuanced. Hence, getting out of our way can present a challenge if we don’t know how to block the flow of life (aka blocking our blessing). This post will explore the mindfulness practice of getting out of your way to do the things you may perceive as impossible.
So much of what we’ve been taught about goals has focused on doing more of what we already know how to do well. This often keeps us within a persistent loop (aka Groundhog Day), where we are bound to repeat the same habits and practices daily until we make an intentional change. Unless we boldly choose to do something completely new, we must continue going through the motions, taking the safe, familiar route to avoid stepping too far outside our comfort zone.
Every time we mix things up and upgrade our desires to go beyond the comforts of what we believe we are equipped to do, we instantly become engulfed with fear. This is not just your typical form of fear that calls you to step outside of your comfort; it’s the intense fear of the unknown that often scares the sh** out of us to the point where we do all we can to regain some semblance of comfort.
When we muster up the courage to venture into new things, we are instantly met with fear and uncertainty of the unknown. Where the unfamiliar resides, unpredictability, uncertainty, and fear are at the crux of the unknown. This invariability can take us into the downward-spiraling effects of fear, which most frequently presents as physical discomfort. As with any other form of discomfort, the natural response is for our physical bodies to tense up, causing discomfort.
Much like when we touch a hot stove, we instinctively withdraw our hands to alleviate the pain; this logic doesn’t exactly apply when conquering the unknown. As with most things, we can mask our true feelings until they become unbearable, as pain invariably pushes until a vision pulls us to take the first steps outside of our comfort zone. If we solely lean into what we confidently know we can achieve and the goals that are an extension of what we already know we can accomplish, we limit ourselves. Add something new that’s entirely outside the realm of the familiar, and the next thing you know, we are willing to embrace the unknown.
Thankfully, the only requirement to go after the big ideals when you have yet to learn where to start is to forget about the how and take the first step, fear and all. Fear is an interesting concept that we all experience. Invariably, we can each respond to it in one of two ways (F.E.A.R.): face everything and run or have false evidence appear real.
Depending on one’s perception, its presence can immobilize and stop you in your tracks, making you unable to go beyond the discomfort, or it can inspire you to persist beyond any perceived obstacles. This goes against any S.M.A.R.T. goals (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound) and every other strategic approach to actualizing your desires.
The problem is the more we ignore the desires of our hearts and continue to operate within our restricted comfort zone, the more likely we are to settle, subjecting ourselves to remain in a cycle of doing the things we dislike and, in some instances, have a complete disdain for. From staying in relationships that no longer serve to remaining in jobs that spark no interest or joy, we subject ourselves to undue suffering.
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