Demystifying Mindfulness: How to Practice Gratitude when it feels as if you have nothing to be grateful for?
Five Ways to Practice Gratitude In Difficult Times
Have you ever wondered why you encounter difficulties practicing gratitude when you have so much to be grateful for?
Perhaps you have the best of intentions to develop a consistent practice, in spite of your current reality. Only to be brought face to face with the many aspects of your current reality that disavows the very things you are grateful for. Thereby, making practicing gratitude, that much more difficult.
Whatever the case may be, know that you are not alone. The good news is that problems and gratitude can both coexist at the same dam time. This post will outline how to practice gratitude when it feels like you have nothing to be grateful for.
Gratitude Misconceptions
There’s a widely held notion that gratitude is an all-or-nothing type of deal. In other words, one must be relatively content with essentially all aspects of their life to properly express and practice gratitude. As with most things, when it comes to doing the very things that seem straightforward and easy there always seems to be this inner dialogue rationalizing that it couldn’t possibly be as easy as it seems. Well, the good news is, that it is as simple as expressing a thank you, and doesn’t require that everything is perfectly aligned in our lives to prequalify us.
Truth is if we waited for everything in our lives to perfectly align there would never be a right time to practice, in fact very few would literally and figuratively be in a place that would qualify them to give thanks. Individually and collectively we are all expansive beings who are perpetually evolving on a day-to-day basis. Therefore there are no rules or standardized processes to make you worthy of practice. In other words, you don’t have to get your proverbial sh** together, before you begin, you can start exactly where you are, complicated life stuff and all.
Notably, there are the more obvious things for which we should easily be able to give thanks. From our earthside presence, health, family, employment status, and finances, to the very breath we take, there are countless reasons for which we should easily be able to practice gratitude. However, in difficult times the lens of our awareness tends to be so intently focused on viewing our lives from the level of our problems, that it often clouds our ability to see all of the micro joys that we experience each day. Inevitably this level of thinking puts us in a perpetual cycle, starting a practice, experiencing difficulty, stopping out of sheer frustration, experiencing guilt, picking ourselves back up, and beginning again, all perpetually cycling through until we break the habit.
Over time we learn how to mask our true feelings, in favor of revealing only the nice pleasantries that would make both ourselves and others feel comfortable. A majority of us, perfect this skill so well, that we often hide our true feelings from ourselves. Masking our true feelings, on top of all of the other unfavorable circumstances we may encounter, often create a burdensome weight that is often beyond overwhelming. Therefore, the weight of the challenges can create a dense fog that makes it that much more difficult to find things to be grateful for.
In other words, we become so skilled at masking how we really feel that we not only end up believing what we say and do, but we often fall for it hook line, and sinker. In essence, we end up falling for our own b*** s****, so well that we often lose sight of our true intentions. Inevitably, somewhere along the way, our intentions evolve from going beyond any present limitations to masking our feelings so well that our true feelings become lost on us. Invariably, this often creates a gap between how we really feel, and what we allow others to see.
It’s relatively easy to forcibly rattle off the many things we feel that we should be grateful for, only if we are merely going through the motions doing what we believe we should do without the corresponding frequency to match with our underlying intention, it simply falls on deaf ears. In other words, we can easily get away with meticulously hiding our true feelings under lock and key, from those who are the closest to us. However, the universe only responds in accordance with our frequency. So if we are practicing something that doesn’t align, we simply get more of the same.
What Is Gratitude Practice?
Gratitude practice is rooted in recognizing the small joys that we experience on a moment-by-moment basis, and not the sum of whether we are content with all aspects of our lives. You are a divine light being, with the ability to think, and function independent of circumstances. Remember you are far greater than any unfavorable circumstances or limitations that you may experience. In other words, we each are empowered with the foresight to see beyond our current circumstances. Therefore having difficulty practicing gratitude doesn’t make you ungrateful, it just calls you to revisit your approach.
Gratitude is a boundless practice, that frees you to recognize and celebrate the little small joys that we often take for granted. In essence, the more you genuinely express gratitude for all that you have, and continually receive on a moment-by-moment basis, the more it sets the tone, abundantly giving you more to be grateful for. Like with most things there is more than one way to practice. It can resemble anything from journalling any number of things and experiences in which you experienced bursts of joy, to expressing gratitude for the seemingly little things that may otherwise slip past your awareness. No matter how you elect to practice, experiencing and living life on a moment-to-moment basis empowers you to live in the present.
Living life from this stance equips you to vibrate higher, and go beyond the fray of the countless things that reside outside of your control. Thereby, empowering us to go beyond any perceived problems and limitations. In essence, where your attention goes your energy flows. In other words, the more you focus on the everyday joys that arise in your life, the more overflowing good, and abundance you invite in. So if your awareness is more focused on the joyous daily wins, the faster any perceived problems dissolve. Invariably the less time, effort, and attention, you invest into rooting your attention into your problems, the less fuel it has to exist.
Five Ways to Practice Gratitude in Difficult Times
1. Start Small
As with any new practice, start small. Increase your awareness of the little things as they occur throughout the day. Celebrate the daily micro joys, at the moment as they occur. Don’t deprive yourself by exclusively preserving your joy for the major wins. Celebrate them all as they arise. From the unexpected joys that come from unexpected people, in unexpected ways, at unexpected times, to the small wins that come from practicing gratitude with a degree of consistency.
Start small by journaling at least one that you are grateful for each day. Remember that small consistent efforts result in sustainable habits. In time you will likely find that it is nearly impossible to just list one thing. As you put pen to paper or fingers to the keypad, you more than likely will find yourself rattling off far more than a few things.
2. Release Expectations
Literally and figuratively seeing is believing. Naturally, we have a tendency to reference all that we have directly or indirectly observed or experienced and attached expectations to our imagined outcome. However, the mindfulness practice of gratitude is an individualized journey, and what works for some is not guaranteed to work for all.
So as you increase your awareness of the wonderful things that are perpetually taking place in your life, release any expectations around what it should look like. Simply evolve your practice to meet you exactly where you are in your mindfulness journey.
3. Release Any Guilt
Naturally, there are countless things that you can recount, for which you are grateful. However, whenever you experience difficulty there will likely be times when the totality of your experience feels too overwhelming to find something to be grateful for. As with most things that misalign with what we believe we should feel, guilt is likely sure to follow.
Anytime you feel guilt arising, allow grace, and release any feelings of guilt. As with the clouds that float across the sky, any number of things will cross through our awareness that can make you feel guilty. There will be seasons where life is not all rainbows and butterflies as we experience the ebbs and flows of life. Know that is ok to experience feelings that may not feel comfortable. Grant yourself permission to release any guilt.
4. Forgive Yourself
Forgiveness is a practice that is largely reserved and emphasized as something that we should do for others. However, forgiveness first begins with self. There are going to be times when your vantage point is so clouded by the density of life that it may become challenging to not center blame and guilt on oneself.
Know that beyond every experience, lies a lesson. As we grow and evolve we are going to make mistakes along the way. Release any feelings of guilt, blame, or shame, and grant yourself permission to forgive yourself, and allow yourself to begin again.
5. Begin Again
As with any new practice, there are going to be instances where you fall short. As with all things new and everything else in between, you will be faced with the task of selecting from two choices. One, give up and allow the weight of fear, doubt, worry, and regret, to prevent you from trying again, or you can have grace, practice forgiveness, and begin again.
Know that no matter how well-versed or experienced one may perceive a person to be, there are times when they falter and fall short of attaining their intention. Only the key to successfully practicing gratitude with a degree of consistency is to begin again. No matter how many times you miss the mark persistently begin again.
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