Confessions of a Recovering Social Media Addict
4 Ways to use Mindfulness to Shift Unconscious Habits
Have you ever stopped to wonder why so much of your day is filled with mindless scrolling on social media?
Perhaps you find yourself constantly reaching for your phone at the most inopportune times. Only to immediately access your social media feed, and begin endlessly scrolling down the tortuous habit hole of news, entertainment, comedic relief, and overall shenanigans.
Or maybe, the more enticing, shocking, and gossip filled, the posts, the more it has you sitting on the edge of your seat, wanting more. Practically the more outlandish the posts, the more you find yourself getting caught up in the ridiculousness that is intertwined within the comments.
Sound familiar?
For the most part, we are all familiar with the premise that social media platforms were psychologically built to be addictive by nature. What begins as consciousness use of your attention to engage with the platforms, quickly morphs into an addictive habit, as alerts, and notifications, unconsciously pull you into engage throughout the day.
Disengaging with social media is not easy. However, with the help of mindful awareness, it is possible to consciously regain dominion over your attention, so that you can actualize your intentions. This post will outline the 4 mindfulness ways to shift beyond any unconscious habits that distract you from your intentions.
The Pitfalls of Accessible Technology
This story is all too familiar, as I too, have found myself caught up into the addictive pull of my hand-held device. Despite practicing mindful awareness on a daily basis, no one is immune to its addictive nature. In many ways it’s nothing quite like it, as its ease of use, accessibility, and connectivity, has literally changed the game. The very fact that you can connect with information from anywhere around the world within a matter of seconds, with just the mere touch of a button, is mind-boggling.
Within my lifetime I have seen technology advance leaps and bounds over the past twenty plus years. I can remember as if it were yesterday, a time where information was only accessible through a home collection of encyclopedias, and cumbersome thick resource books, which were practically outdated by the time they reached the shelf.
The only other recourse was to venture out to your local library, to scour the dewy decimal system to find what you sought. Mostly these distinct searches were sparked by some extensive school research assignment. Without the help of a librarian, it was literally impossible to find what you sought. In fact it was such a challenge, that it was like searching for a needle in a haystack.
Encyclopedias, and large books, were literally the only resources, we had at our disposal. Fast-forward to now, and these very resources have been regulated as, old, ancient, antiquated, relics that have been left to be relished as antiques, and preserved for future profits.
Thankfully, we now have open access to an infinite source of information. Literally you can search whatever comes to mind, and access it by text, or video, within a matter of seconds.
The Problem with Electronic Distractions
Despite how far we have technologically advanced, distractions keep us connected twenty-four seven, and wreak havoc on our awareness. As harmless as it may seem, device alerts, and notifications, are designed by pull us in to engage with our devices. The very sound of an alert subconsciously signals us to access our devices. Take this activity and multiply it times the countless times a day we receive an email, text, or social media post.
And just like that, we have been programed to automatically respond to alerts within a matter of seconds. This in itself makes it increasingly challenging to break the unconscious habit of accessing, and immediately responding to an alert.
A Likely Addiction
I, like many of you, are all too familiar with device addiction. Only I didn’t initially recognize it as a problem, until I began to take notice of my weekly screen time reports. Initially, I didn’t think much of it, until I began to focus my awareness on the amount of times I would reach for my phone for absolutely no apparent reason.
From the moment I awoke, I began to notice a strong urge that prompted me to click on each of the residual alerts that surfaced from the night. It was almost as if it was calling my name, prompting me to break from my morning routine, and give it my undivided attention.
The more I fought it, the more it increased in intensity. Whenever, I surrendered to its beck and call, I would quickly begin to respond to each alert, regardless of whether I was actually interested in the actual communication. Next thing I knew, I was yet again drawn into the timeless abyssis of mindlessly scrolling through my social media feed. Of which, some are enticing, informative, and entertaining, whereas most are uninteresting and lackluster, only it felt as of I couldn’t help yourself. Perusing through a borage of posts, in what seemed like a dimension that was devoid of time.
Unbeknownst to me, once I pulled myself out out of this virtual trance, a considerable amount of time had passed, completely throwing me off my morning routine. Reflecting back, it is absolutely insane that I was so conditioned, that I would willingly invest the same amount of energy into to reading something that didn’t remotely capture my interest.
No matter how many times I ventured down this road, it always felt as if time stood still, until the moment I lifted my gaze and set my awareness on the time. To this day, every time I look up, I am shocked at the amount of time that has passed.
Unfortunately, this perpetual cycle repeated itself every morning, as I relentlessly fought resisting the urge to respond to any alerts until after I readied myself to start the day. Some mornings my willfullness was triumphant. Whereas, other mornings proved that I still had a-lot more work to do.
The Problem with Unconscious Habits
Day in and day out, here I was mindlessly scrolling to occupy my mind regardless of whatever else I had going on. It was almost as if I couldn’t help myself, as I inadvertently felt this unquenchable need to check my phone. Regardless of the amount of time that actually passed from one scroll to the next, I still felt compelled to satisfy the urge. In many ways it was almost as if I always had a perpetual thirst for more.
Almost without fail, I responded to practically every alert that popped up on my phone, and if I couldn’t respond in the moment, you best believe, I responded as soon as I had a moment.
As the weeks went by, I gradually began to pay closer attention to the weekly screen time reports. Not only did it show my average use per day, it also showed the amount of times I accessed my phone per day. Being that it intricately described each and every application that I accessed, there was no mistaking where I was dedicating my time.
From books, to emails, productivity, and social media applications, it was crystal clear, I had a problem. In hindsight, it absolutely nonsensical that as an avid mindfulness enthusiast, and a certified mindfulness instructor, that I would willfully apply mindful awareness to so many other aspects of my life, and completely allow this unconscious habit to slip through my awareness.
“Awareness is like the sun, when it shines on things it is transformed.”
—Thich Nhat Hanh
Accepting What Is
Words can not even express how disappointed, shameful, and embarassing this felt. Regardless of how well-versed one may be with the mindfulness, it doesn’t mean you are any less susceptible. Now that this experience was at the forefront of my awareness, I had two choices.
I could willfully surrender to the emotional pain of negative self talk and continue to subject myself to unconsciously replay these thoughts in an endless loop dejection and self pity. Or, I could consciously use this insight to shift the narrative, by regaining control of my awareness.
Overall, just because the underlying intention of notifications, are to condition us to respond on demand, doesn’t mean that we should willfully surrender our power and remain enslaved to notifications. Typically when I would identify something that I needed to work on, I would take deep dive to learn more about the reasons why.
However, in this case there was absolutely no need to waste any time researching the obvious, as it is a well known fact that device alerts, and social media platforms are built by design to keep us hooked. However, we have the power of volition, and can exercise power of choice, to shift, as we see fit.
4 Ways to use Mindfulness to Shift Unconscious Habits
1. Observe Your Actions
We can do any number of things without consciously being aware of what we are doing at any given moment. Objectively observing your thoughts, and actions, helps you to to shine a light to bring it into your awareness, without judgement or self-criticism.
In essence, increasing your self-awareness is much like holding a mirror up to your face, and observing what’s reflected. You may not necessarily be satisfied with all the facial imperfections, and blemishes. However, you continue to love yourself, use the insights to improve as you see fit.
2. Release Judgement
Whenever you increase your awareness around any area of your experience, its a high probability that you won’t always necessarily like what you see. Releasing judgement frees you from experiencing the emotional pain that arises as a results of engaging in negative self-talk.
As a part of human nature we are going to experience emotionally charged thoughts and feelings. It is ok to notice, and experience it. However, by serving as an objective observer, it empowers you to release the urge to self-judge. Thereby freeing yourself from the emotion pain that arises as a byproduct of applying judgement.
3. Be Gracious
Most have a tendency to exercise more grace, and patience, with others than they do themselves. Life is a journey, and each moment is filled with experiences, that we can gain lessons, and insights.
Just because you experience feelings that make you feel a level of discomfort, does not give you free reign to indulge in self criticism, and judgement. Being gracious supports you to be open and receptive to observe, release any tendencies to engage in self-criticism, and expand into your higher self.
4. The Power of Choice
Despite what may outwardly present itself, we always have the power of choice. If and when you observe something that displeases you, you have the power to shift, to better align with your intentions.